August 16 is fast approaching. And with it, a difficult decision. For some strange reason both the Portland Adult Soap Box Derby and the New Belgian's Tour De Fat have been scheduled that day.

I have no idea how these two entertaining events were planned for the same day. Isn't there some sort of hipster committee or quorum that meets every month to make sure such gaffes do not happen? Shame on you, Portland hipsters.

Now on the sixteenth it'll be just like Sophie's Choice for me...except with fewer Nazis.

Dad's Little Helper MALT LIQUOR
From the Echo-7 flickr collection.

Move over St. Ides. Get out of the way Mickey's. Watch out Lando. Rogue Brewery has gotten into the malt liquor business.

My only complaint is that it does not come in a 40 ounce bottle.

I recently received a bottle of 14 year-old Oban scotch and it is scrumptious. Every sip is as if the heavens open up and a choir of angels glide down on a beam of light harmonizing an angelic rendition of the Star Wars theme. I might be overstating it a bit, but that's pretty close.

That's why I cannot imagine what the $400+ bottle of 32 year-old Oban must taste like. I don't think mortal beings like ourselves are ready for such mega ecstasy bliss.

As a [single-malt] scotch drinker there is one thing I've learned. You appear less like a scotch enthusiast and more like a frat boy with his daddy's credit card when you are ordering at a bar and mispronounce the distillery name.

Glenfiddich ends with a hard "k" sound. It does. Trust me.

But don't take my word for it. Consult your local Scotch pronunciation guide.

Of course, if you're buying me a 32 year Oban, you may pronounce it any way you like.

I've launched two websites recently for a couple very cool endeavors. This isn't a shameless plug. No, no. Let's refer to it as ego-heavy show-and-tell.

nJoy Designs makes local, handmade, oilcloth bags right here in Portland, OR. Colorful, durable, and just downright purty things that you can put stuff in.

For all you music fans out there, check out the Outlaw Americana sound of Hang Jones. There are three tracks you can download free and there are some official music videos coming soon.

Props to Lisa Marie on the design.

Enlarge and enbiggen it by clicking on it.

Follow the full toonlet strip here: My Undead Life.

It's that time again. Time for imbibing fermented beverages under the hot, hot sun. And that means it's time for the Portland International Beerfest.

The only thing better than tents full of 130 beers from 15 different countries is a great beer-related movie pun. Well, let's just say it's a close second.

This event always has the best posters with titles like "Fists of Beer" and "When Beer Collides." Every year, I'm always excited to see what pun they've used. This year it's "There Will Be Beer."

For future posters, I would like to throw a couple folded-up options into the proverbial hat. How about Beer Runner? Beertropolis? The Beerdrinker's Guide to the Galaxy would be nice and nerdy. Although they might need beers from 42 different countries. Finally, while it's a little too easy, The Lord of the Beers would make a great poster image.

If you didn't figure it out already, click the image to see a larger version.

Follow the full toonlet strip here: My Undead Life.

Sometimes a marketing slogan or commercial soundbyte is so perfect that it becomes part of one's vernacular. I still use phrases like "Move over bacon," "Pretty sneaky, sis," and "Is that Freedom Rock?" at least once a month. Well, I found a new one to fold into my everyday lexicon.

"Hold my beer. This is going to be awesome."

It's the name of an event recently put on by the Puddle Cutters, a Portland moped group.

That is easily the best event name. Ever. It's so cool that I might have to orchestrate a situation where I can use it. "Hey, let's grab a six-pack, our skateboards, and head on down to the Springfield Gorge."