Anybody that grew up in the 80s should have the image of the cathode ray-rendered Yule Log burned into their memory.

After a 12-year hiatus, it was brought back in 2001 to comfort us inconsolable Americans after 9/11. Thank goodness because I don't know what else would have worked.

Well, welcome to the 21st century, fiery woodpile. Not only are you going to be available in HD this year, so people can actually count the burning embers, but people can also download a video file of you to play on their computer or iPod whenever they fancy.

You sold out, Yule Log. Shame on you.

Because the "Transformers" movie was looped on one of the few channels the hospital had, I found myself watching it more times than I cared to around the time my son was born. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the repetitious viewing like some scene out of "A Clockwork Orange," but I started thinking about Michael Bay's filmography and I have come to a conclusion.

A Michael Bay movie is like your average Fourth of July.

There are lots of things that go ka-boom, the dialogue is akin to the witty tête-à-tête that only follows a half-rack of Miller High-Life, and at the end there is that futile attempt at making a sparkler bomb. Then, it anti-climactically fizzles out and needs to be dumped into a bucket of putrid, ashy water.

Sometimes he adds transforming robots, oil-drilling astronauts, or sometimes (if we're all really lucky) Ben Affleck. So during this holiday season, let's take some time to remember the real meaning of July 4th. Michael Bay bless us, every one.

I shall leave you with this. Name that Michael Bay movie explosion (put your mouse over the image to see the answer).

They say you learn something new every day. They also say not to judge a book by its cover but, as anyone who has ever opened an Economics textbook can tell you, some aphorisms are not absolutes.

Even if I do learn something daily, most of the time it's a thing like where I put my keys the day before or the milk smells funny. But lately, my regularly scheduled learning has been blowing the new fact part of my brain. Here are some highlights:

1) Elephants are skittish around mice

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. I've always thought of this as a cartoon truth. It was right up there with running in mid-air before falling and leaving a person-shaped hole when crashing through a wall.

The elephants didn't stand on their tip-toes and lift their skirts up while saying, "Eeek!" but they definitely aren't on speaking terms with mice. Here's some video proof.

2) Japanese women are pregnant for 10 months

I kept reassuring my pregnant wife that things could be worse. She could be pregnant in Japan!!! This extra month is actually very simple to explain. Everyone accepts that humans carry babies for around 40 weeks.

1 month = 4 weeks
40 weeks / 4 weeks = 10 months

Makes sense to me. How do we get 9 months out of 40 weeks? Plus, the 10-month nomenclature works better conversationally. When a woman is 8 months and 1 day pregnant, we say she's 9 months pregnant. But she still has 3-4 weeks left.

3) My phone can identify a song just by listening to it

Simply by placing my phone near a speaker, the VCast Song ID application can take a frequency "fingerprint" of the song and match it to a 4 million song database. The future is now!

Now all it needs is a bit of sass so it would output things like "Britney Spears - Toxic. But there's no way in silicon hell that I'm allowing you to download that as a ringtone."

4) Maple bars are a Pacific Northwest phenomenon

Thanks to Keith for bringing this shocking fact to my attention. Growing up the maple bar was a staple pastry. When buying the obligatory dozen, you'd always get at least one maple bar, one glazed, one sprinkles, and one jelly. The rest were duplicates and special requests.

It's hard for me to imagine a world where the maple bar is not as abundant as the black rat or reality television.

Sheep jokes are funny. It's one of life's immutable truths like duct tape fixes everything and weightlifters love Zubaz.

This New Zealand horror-comedy film embraces this truth like a zombie embraces a fresh head wound. But what could possibly make sheep funnier? Well, genetically altering them and having them go on a murderous feeding binge, of course.

Oh, New Zealand. Where the men are men and the sheep are ravenous, blood-thirsty killers.