Ah, that new show smell of TV's Fall line-up. There's nothing quite like it. Well, except for the mid-season replacements and the summer fillers...oh, and all the non-network channels who scatter their show pilots higglety-pigglety throughout the year. But still, the end of September schedule is like the starting line-ups for a new sports season. Go-ooooooo TV!

With the inordinate amount of geek-geared programming this season, we had to choose our new shows very carefully. The first two we've seen are "Chuck" and "Reaper." Both are good, yet eerily similar. Let's compare, shall we?

1) Both pilots were directed by big name film directors.

Chuck - McG
Reaper - Kevin Smith

2) Chuck and Sam both work at big mega-stores with names that are cleverly disguised ciphers for actual mega-stores.

Chuck - Nerd Herd at Buy More (Geek Squad at Best Buy)
Reaper - The Work Bench (The Home Depot)

3) The two main characters are socially inept dorks and yet there's a hot girl who really digs them.

Chuck - Sarah Walker (played by Yvonne Strzechowski)
Reaper - Andi (played by Missy Peregrym)

4) Each show has extraordinary powers given to the banal protagonist without their permission.

Chuck - All of the government secrets downloaded into Chuck's brain.
Reaper - Super powers given to him by the Devil.

5) Both guys are plagued by an even dorkier friend whose sole purpose is to crack wise and make the main guy look slightly cooler by comparison.

Chuck - Morgan (played by Joshua Gomez)
Reaper - Sock (played by Tyler Labine)

I'm hoping these aren't so similar that it goes into Highlander territory and there can be only one. If there is, I deem it to be "Chuck" that receives the cathode quickening. It seems to be a little more developed of an idea with more places to go story-wise.

But what do I know? I think I chose the "Ferris Bueller" TV series over "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" in the famed slacker schoolkid series battle of 1990. I'm glad I was wrong on that one. Synchronize swatches!

What can I say that hasn't already been said about "King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters"?

Billy Mitchell, Donkey Kong champ from 1985, is a complete asshole.

Steve Weibe, Donkey Kong world record holder hopeful, is just a really nice guy.

Even though Billy Mitchell sports a Chuck Norris-esque beard, he might as well have a thick handlebar mustache that he rubs between his fingers as he speaks. His minions (or yes-men or bitches or whatever you'd like to call them) hover around him and do his bidding for nothing more than just basking in his presence. Billy Mitchell personifies evil in this movie.

Probably my favorite part of the film are all the people who are also deep into competitive classic gaming. They seem to be comical caricatures of 80s nerd stereotypes. From the self-proclaimed "Mr. Awesome" to the guy in his 30s (or possibly 40s?) with his peach fuzz mustache, the supporting cast provides amazing comic relief. Seriously, if you wrote these characters, they'd wouldn't be believable.

What can I say about "King of Kong"? Watch it.

Some movies deserve each other. While laughing through the motorcycle wreck that is "Ghost Rider," I decided that it would make a great double-feature with another movie. The logical choice would be "Daredevil" since it's the same writer/director (thank you, Mark Steven Johnson) and it's also a comic book movie that is based on superheros with a hellish theme.

That'd be the logical choice. I choose to go a different route. I choose to go with "The Punisher" and here's why.


Both of our leather-garment appreciating anti-heroes love skulls. One likes his on t-shirts and the other enjoys his flambé. Both of the films have sequels penned, for some ungodly reason. They also have in common terrible actors and writers.

But probably the big reason why I'd put them together is that they are both laughably bad. Either the filmmakers are so terrible that they couldn't direct their way out of a movie about wet paper bags or they have their tongue placed so firmly in their cheek that it is actually extruding out the other side. I hope it's the latter. They could have great futures as made-for-Sci-Fi directors.

These movies definitely deserve each other. Either that or a landfill.

When something works, it just sticks. I received a leather chain wallet in '96 and have used it for over a decade. Over the years, it had lost a snap and had imprinted the embossed part of my credit cards into the back.

The only negative was that it constantly snagged on chairs so that when I stood up it looked like the invisible hand of Chevy Chase was pushing me back down. I viewed it as instant karma for looking so cool with a chain wallet.

Lately, I've come to realize that when someone wears something every day for a ten year span, it's safe to say that there's a very good chance that said item may be going (or has already gone) out of style. On that conclusion I reluctantly started shopping for a new wallet. Something distinct, something fun, something that could also be used to hold duct work together.

Hello, jDUCT!

jDUCT is a local company that makes wallets completely out of duct tape. No cardboard, no asbestos, just duct tape and a clear plastic ID window. Quality work too.

When something works, it just sticks. And sometimes when something sticks, it just works.

Now my cards and money are housed in a durable duct tape home. I doubt the wallet will last until 2017, but by then everyone will have duct tape wallets and mine would just be one of the billion out there.

I guess by that time I'll have to switch to some sort of new alternative wallet material. Maybe kelp or asbestos or leather.

Language lingers. People still "dial" phone numbers even though rotary telephones are as abundant as Members Only jackets. Plenty of DVR owners "tape" shows without any magnetic tape in sight. And I still enjoy walking into a good record store.

Unfortunately, even though the diction persists, the medium does not. Cassette tapes, CDs, MiniDiscs -- the record store has withstood all matter of new media. But the intangible digital music file seems to be taking its toll.

Two great Portland record stores have closed their doors this year. Ozone Records O3 shut their shop a couple months ago and Music Millennium just closed their NW 23rd Ave store.

The language is still around, though. People download albums and EPs. I'm sure years from now bands will still produce "b-sides" without a flipside to house it.

It's too bad that these music stores I grew up with won't continue as well. You guys will be missed.