As some of you, my faithful readers, know there is going to be another kid running around our little abode soon. And anyone who's kept up with THE blog knows, that little bundle of drool and sleeplessness is a boy.

Now that the gender has been revealed, everybody wants to give their ideas for a name. I'm sure we'll hear some winners, but being the geek that I am (and I am), I know there is a better way. A more efficient way. Something that involves databases and formulas.

Enter Nymbler and NameVoyager.


Nymbler
This is a great tool to suggest names I hadn't thought of. Start selecting names you like and it starts suggesting names that are based on your favorites. It gets me all geeky tingly just thinking about the logic functions that power this tool.

Without Nymbler, I would have never thought of brilliant names like Taft, Piers, Alistair, Gawain, Tristram, and Montague. This tool also allows you to look up a little history of each name and save a list of your favorites.


NameVoyager
Once I find some potential names, I cannot tab fast enough over to NameVoyager to plot each name on a graph. Did I mention I'm a bit of nerd? This shows the name's popularity over time. We don't want a name that's too popular because it bites having to go by your first name and last name's first initial in school. We also don't want too obscure because then you'd never be able to find your name on those little novelty license plates.


We still welcome suggestions, but there are a couple rules. First, it can't start with a "C" because that just sounds daft with our last name. Second, it has to be awesome. Oh, and if it's an obscure sci-fi reference it will be greatly considered.

Voodoo Doughnuts is a place of wonder, mystery, and delicious, delicious doughnuts.

From their infamous maple bacon bar (with real bacon) to their infamous Nyquil-glazed Pepto-bismol doughnut (no longer available thanks to our friends at the FDA), their delicacies are strange and tantalizing. I always have a hard time getting something new when I go there because the last one I had was so freakin' good.

Recently my decisions were made all the more difficult because, on my last trip to the Voodoo, I had a taste of their Memphis Mafia. It's a banana fritter with chocolate chips, peanut butter, and crack.

I don't know for sure that crack is an ingredient. I'm just basing that on my eating experience. The one where my body became a mere observer as my hands continued to shove more and more into my gaping maw. Even though my brain was proclaiming things like, "That's probably enough." and my stomach was adding, "I don't know how much more room we have down here. Just sayin'."

Damn you, Voodoo! Now there's drool all over my keyboard and an insatiable sickly feeling in my stomach.

I have finally figured out who is really pulling the strings at the FOX network. After months of torment related to such things as the cruel and immediate canceling of "Veronica Mars" and pulling the plug on "Drive" after four episodes, I was reminded of a basic Buddhist principle that states suffering is the path to enlightenment.

FOX is run by Buddhists!

It has to be. My mind cannot fathom any other reason for the continuing torture they keep putting me through other than they want me to be a better person.

For example, why would they force "Drive" off the television roadway after only two episodes on its regular broadcast night? Then, why would they say they are going to air the final two episodes (already in the can and ready to air) a few weeks later on July 4? This is followed by bumping those to July 13 and then not airing them at all.

Why? Because FOX cares about me.

Fortunately, they have seen to give me a slight reprieve and posted all episodes (including the fifth and sixth episodes) online.

Watch all "Drive" episodes on a really small screen.

Don't think for a second that the kind people at FOX have given up on my enlightenment. Even though I can now watch all six episodes of a series that was prematurely killed, the video does not go full-screen and I am forced to sit through a commercial every 5 minutes or so.

Notice that I say commercial. Singular. Yes. The same commercial over and over again. Talk about suffering. I had to constantly be force-fed a stupid Comcastic! commercial with this guy in it:

Apparently, there's no hope of finishing this series off and releasing it as a DVD (which I would buy) because the series' creater, Tim Minear, told a bunch of interesting facts about the show including which characters would die. It's as close to a series finale as we're going to get.

Read the plain text, bullet point "Drive" denouement to propel yourself farther along that path to enlightenment.

I knew Russ Meyer was a film visionary and an exploitation expert, but until recently viewing "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" and "Mudhoney" I didn't realize that he was a genius.

I don't mean to insinuate that either of these are good movies. In fact, they are pretty horrible, but horrible in the most enjoyable way possible. The kind of horrible way that makes you keep watching. Like a car crash, celebrity reality show, or two drunk people arguing politics I just smile and keep witnessing the spectacle.

With a name that purposefully incorporates speed, sex, and death, "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" is pure silliness, but beyond the cleavage, spinning tires, and kooky characters there's something that borders on brilliance. The real genius is that nearly every line spoken in the movie has sexual innuendo. A whole movie written in double entendre -- that's nearly Shakespearian in it's complexity.

Genius.

Ever wonder what "Mystery Science Theater 3000" would be like with the silhouettes and robots? Well, wonder no longer.

The Film Crew has arrived.

Mike J. Nelson (who played Mike Nelsen on MST3K), Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo on MST3K), and Bill Corbett (Crow T. Robot on MST3K) have decided that all films need a commentary track. They are more than happy to stick it (a commentary) to sucky celluloid pieces such as "Hollywood After Dark" (starring a stripping Rue McClannahan) and "The Wild Women of Wongo."

If the absence of new MST3K episodes has left a robot-silhouette-shaped void in your life, the Film Crew fits snuggly in its place.

Yep. I got out of the house to see a movie in the theater. And on what movie did I cast my almighty dollar vote? The crapstorm that is "Transformers."

Don't get me wrong. I mean crapstorm in the nicest possible way. After all, it's a Michael Bay movie (think "Armageddon"). Therefore, it goes without saying that there will be lots of things exploding, cheesy dialogue, and about as much character development as an elementary school play.

I knew what I was getting into. Sometimes you just want to see stuff explode. Unfortunately, the ugly truth is that if one is going to watch a Michael Bay movie, one must either see it on the big screen or be horribly intoxicated. Doing both couldn't hurt.

I wonder what 80s Optimus Prime thinks of the new movie? Oh, here what he thinks (NOTE: not appropriate for kids):

A handful of 7-11s have become, the once fictitious, Kwik-E-Marts to promote the upcoming Simpsons movie.

Unfortunately, according to this list, Portland (Matt Groening's home town) is not blessed with this over-the-top promotion. I'm a bit disappointed because I still have no idea where to get Duff beer.

What they really should have done is changed all the 7-11s to Kwik-E-Marts in every Springfield in the United States.

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Not meeeeeeeeee.