As most people know, an "homage" is basically someone stealing an idea so blatantly that they have to fess up to the theft before anyone else accuses them of it. "No, I didn't rip off the opening crane shot from 'The Player.' It's an homage."

The Fast and the Furious series thrives on this concept. The first one basically being one big homage to "Point Break." Replace the surfboards with race cars and you've got yourself another blockbuster. The second one...well, let's just say that I'm pretty sure it was an homage to feces.

They pulled out all the stops for the third movie -- The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

It's a story about a kid in new school who has been banned from doing the one thing he loves and is good at. I believe "Hackers" did that back in the mid-90s. While in Japan, this American falls for a [quote] Japanese [end quote] girl who has already been claimed by a hot-shot Japanese guy who challenges him out of jealous rage. Hmm...could that be "The Karate Kid, Part II" I smell? And wait. What was that? You want to end the movie with a race down a winding road winner-take-all? I didn't even realize that "Thrashin'" was even deserving of an homage.

I can't wait for the fourth movie where, one can only assume, they'll pay homage to the first film...and possibly "Steel Magnolias."

The mythic battle between pirates and ninjas has a long history. With the recent rise of pirates in popularity it's no surprise that ninjas have resurfaced as well. They're such a stealthy bunch, they may have been here all along clinging on the ceiling or something. It's hard to know for sure.

What is for sure is that they have returned in full force. Pirates beware -- the ninjas are back in town. In fact, they're in town this Saturday at the Ninja Rock Festival. It's all-ages and $7 admission ($20 for pirates).

Here's the line-up:

Fist of Dishonor
14 Ninjas
Happy Time Melody Concern
Ninjas w/ Syringes

Even if you favor ninjas in the proverbial fight, sometimes it's wiser to dress like a pirate as one university student found out when he was detained by the ATF after leaving a Pirate Vs Ninja event.

It happened a while ago. I didn't want to accept it. It was the denial phase of grief. After a little anger and sadness, I am finally able to accept it. "Monk" is dead.

I'm not exactly sure when "Monk" jumped the shark, but I gave many bad episodes the benefit of the doubt and looked away as Tony Shaloub slapped on the water skis.

In the beginning, it was a character show about an obsessive-compulsive, genius detective who had in inordinate amount of phobias. It's an obvious hook for a show, but the writing made it much more. The cases were clever and accessible while the characters interacted with each other in an organic way that formed the crux of the show.

Lately, all the mysterious magic has disappeared. The plot lines seem like vehicles to get Monk into the worst possible situations (garbage strike, outdoor rock concert). What they've forgotten is that any situation is hard for Monk. There's no need to go beyond the audience's suspension of disbelief to write a good show.

The characters are now as two-dimensional as parking tickets. Lt. Disher is so far removed from anyone that would be an actual lieutenant, they might as well put a jester hat on him and have him whisper asides to the audience. The Captain seems to be a bad caricature of the Captain in the first couple seasons. The new assistant, and necessary foil character, for Monk does alright, but it's not as tight a relationship as he had with his former Sharona. I won't even comment on two separate episodes where the writers had Monk lose his phobias. Let's just say that if there was no shark jumping before, there was blood in the water after the first episode.

Lest I forget that the case-solving clues no longer make me slap my head in epiphany, but with enough force to knock the previous 50 minutes out of my memory. The MacGuffins have become absurd to the point that I don't even care about the case he's trying to solve. That would be acceptable except that the characters provide nothing of interest to fall back on.

You might be wondering why I'm expending all this time to write about a show I no longer watch. The reason is that it's a tough loss. "Monk" used to be the gleaming cathode ray among a barrage of cop dramas that I looked forward to watching every week. I will miss "Monk." Not because of cancellation or death of a key actor. No, because it's just unwatchable.

Thanks for the good times, Mr. Monk. I hope that you find your white whale and put Trudy's killer behind bars.

My wife went to Japan and all I got were there really cool Japanese gifts.

It has happened. We have been warned through countless sci-fi movies and novels. Did we listen? No.

Humans have built a robot so intelligent that it thinks we would make the perfect food source.

Yes, that's right. At a recent press conference for a new robot that identifies food that is stuck in its mouth, "some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw [and] he was identified as bacon."

Word will spread fast through the binary grapevine (it's Bluetooth-equipped) and it is only a matter of time before the dominant life form on our planet is encased in metal.

There's nothing quite like a good pun. If it's clever enough, it will elicit a smile, a shake of the head, and a groan all at once. As Edgar Allan Poe wrote, "The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability." And, man, did I find a completely intolerable list.

May I present to you the master name roster for rollergirls of the U.S. and Canada.

I was happy to see that the Rose City Roller names ranked right up there with the rest of North America. Other than Portland's league, there were quite a few names that made me grin; names like Barbie Q, Formalda Heidi, and Shirley Temple of Doom.

There's a pun on the list for everyone. For you "Golden Girls" fans there's Blanche Deathreaux. For you Political Science majors, there's Guantanamo Babe. If you're a Harry Potter fan, you should enjoy She Who Cannot Be Named. If cheap beer is your thing, Patsy Blue Ribbon or Milwaukie's Breast should get a groan. Even kids can get in on the fun with HR Rufnstuf.

Intolerability has never been so enjoyable.

Bonus Link: "Rose City Rumble" (the 7 minute Rose City Rollers documentary)

Trick-or-Treaters 2005: 58
Trick-or-Treaters 2006: 61

A record-breaking attendance this year.

Most Popular Boy's Costume: Spiderman
Most Popular Girl's Costume: A Princess

Glad to see things haven't changed much since I was a kid. Although the Spiderman costume these days is padded with fake muscles. Since when was Peter Parker played by Lou Ferrigno?

Pumpkins Carved: 4

Props to Greg for his Jason Voorhees pumpkin and many thanks to ZombiePumpkins.com for the amazing stencils.

Houses Logan Entered After Getting Candy: 1

Vast improvement over last year where he barged into every house after the owners opened the door. And to be fair, it was his friend's house and the Thomas trains were sitting right by the door in plain view.

My Favorite Candy: Fun-sized Butterfingers

I'm still waiting for this nomenclature for size to catch on in other areas of life. "Hey! You gave me the small piece of cupcake." "No. That's the fun-sized piece."

Bad Horror Movies Watched: 3

A very pitiful number. The whole month of October with only "The Toxic Avenger," "The Toxic Avenger 2," and "House of the Dead 2" to show for it. I'll have to work on this for next year. Suggestions welcome.

Following Day's Candy Hangover (out of 10): About a 5