I would very much love to discuss this film apart from its original 1971 counterpart and the book on which both films are based, but I cannot. I posit that it is impossible to discuss this movie without comparing it to another work. That being said...

It seems the best way to sum up a contrast the films is to look at the actors' portrayals of Willy Wonka in both movies. Gene Wilder did an amazing job in the 1971 version by walking that fine line between good and evil -- that line between compassion and madness. Johnny D plays the character a little zanier. He's more of a cross between a clown and a sad child.

That's pretty much how I felt about the films. I loved the original 1971 version of the film. It was a dark tale with musical morals. It was odd, yet complex, and enjoyable on many levels. The latest film is very entertaining, but was more silly than anything else. It was definitely a Tim Burton film, though. There was a strong feeling of the outcast set against a backdrop of swirly shapes.

Best Line: "See children? Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible! But that my children. is called cannibalism; and that is frowned upon in most societies."

The "I Know You Were Wondering" Link:
The differences between the two films and the book

My subconscious must be working overtime because I woke up this morning with an answer to a question I wasn't even pondering. It also must be a total geek because I arose at dawn knowing the perfect new start-up sound for my computer.

The Windows wind chime sound is like a hand reaching inside my head scratching its fingernails down my cerebral chalkboard. I switched computers recently and, apparently, my subconscious decided that it was a number one priority to change that sound. Let's call it self-preservation.

What might this sound be? I'm not sure where my mind dug this one up, but it's the opening voice from the Commodore 64 game, Impossible Mission. The evil voice welcomes our hero to his underground lair by saying, "Another visitor. Stay a while...stay forever!"

Let me explain.

The latest booming industry around these parts seems to be centered around cupcakes. From Cupcake Royale in Seattle to Saint Cupcake in Portland, cupcake bakeries are sprinkling themselves everywhere. Even Starbucks has recently frosted its pastry case with the delicious hand-held cakes. But what has been in my head like a Journey song the past few days?

The sport of curling. It has popped up everywhere for us lately. To me, it has always been one of those on-at-three-in-the-morning sort of Olympic sports. You know, the synchronized swimming of the Winter Olympics.

Imagine my amazement as I flipped the TV on a couple days ago to find it on during prime time hours. Curling? That's the one with the brooms, right? What is even more amazing is that it's a pretty interesting game full of strategy and dexterity. What is even more amazing than that (I know. Can it get more amazing?) is that my 2 year-old loves the sport.

To top it off, I've started hearing about a local curling club in Portland and have read several news stories on the sport. Since when did curling necessitate such coverage and fandom? I'm going to go out on a limb and say never. Maybe it's the Mod symbol on the ice. It's attracting those young Vespa-riding hipsters. Maybe it's that shuffleboard never took off as it should have. Maybe the world just needed more sports with brooms and rocks. Whatever it is, it's growing and multiplying and, I have no doubt, planning to take over the world.

Ergo, curling is the new cupcakes. Now if only there was some way to combine them...

During a discussion about sequels that disprove the "sequel rule" (the one that says a sequel is always a worse movie than the original), we got onto an interesting tangent. What sequels are out there that actually prove the rule beyond a shadow of a doubt? For the fun of it, we stuck with the first sequel (no matter how many crappy sequels are in a series). With the help of Keith, Zeb, and Wendy, here's the list:

Top 5 Movie Sequels that Prove the Rule
(in no particular order)

1) "Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2"
If there actually was an order to this list, this would still be number one. Words just can't explain how terrible this movie truly is.

2) "Caddyshack II"
If the mascot for the first movie was the cute, little gopher, the mascot for this should have been the backside of a donkey.

3) "Highlander II: The Quickening"
So utterly crappy that the third "Highlander" movie acted like this second movie didn't even happen.

4) "Speed 2: Cruise Control"
Keith kindly refers to this one as "Speed 2: Crap Out of Control."

5) "Blues Brothers 2000"
If only they had Elwood try to jump a shark on waterskis. That would have made movie complete.


Honorable Mentions:

1) "Saw II"
The movie that started this discussion tangent. I haven't seen either the first or the second (and probably won't), but Zeb assures us that it deserves high honor in the above list.

2) "Shock Treatment"
A sequel to "Rocky Horror Picture Show?" Richard O'Brien, what were you thinking? To answer my rhetorical question, I shall respond with one word -- money.

3) "Grease 2"
The only reason this crappy film isn't on the list is that it gets points for amusing songs like "Do It For Our Country" and "Reproduction" (sung in Sex Ed. class).

For the past week I've been a little excited because I thought I'd been catching a new Siouxsie (either with her Banshees or her Creatures) song on the radio. It seemed a little more modern than her past stuff, but she has been making music for quite a while now.

I found out a couple nights ago that it is not Siouxsie Sioux. The songstress is Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It's their new track "Gold Lion." Wow. I would have put a lot of money on it being Siouxsie. That's pretty impressive.

Yeah, that's right. I'm impressed. Had it not been for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs carving out a niche for themselves by previously releasing a truly amazing album, I would have thought that it was just a Siouxsie rip-off band. Of course, I know better. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are good in their own right. Now I can satisfy that Siouxsie void, enjoy some new music, and not feel guilty.

Stream that Gold Lion.

For many years, I've been using the standard "refresh" key (F5) to Send/Receive e-mails in Outlook. It's become second nature to me at this point. Got mail? F5. Nope. How about now? F5. Nope. Okay, I have to have mail now. F5... This process repeats throughout the day.

I recently upgraded to Outlook 2003 and F5 doesn't work. No matter how many times or how hard I hit F5, my mail accounts just sit there staring at me. In the menu settings there is a "Refresh" option with F5 next to it, but it's always grayed out. With a little more research, I find that F9 is the Send/Receive hot key for Outlook 2003. That's like four whole buttons over! What kind of time do these people think I have?

Now I have to completely retrain myself to hit F9 to see that I have no new e-mails. Damn you, Outlook 2003!!!

The alarmingly rapid trend for wine to be sold with screw tops instead of cork disturbs me. When I first heard that screw tops were a better way to seal a bottle of wine I shrugged. "Eh, maybe so, but we wouldn't switch to sealing up a wine bottles with inanimate carbon rods if that worked better." It's not a question of what's best, it's a question of how much the consumer will tolerate.

I didn't think that it would really catch on or, if it did, it'd be for wine under $10. I was wrong. Horribly, painfully wrong. Some of our favorite wines are now being capped like Night Train.

I'm reminded of the scene in "The Muppet Movie" where Steve Martin, as the insolent waiter, opens the cheap-o bottle for Kermit. "Would you care to smell the bottle cap, sir?"

I really don't care what the best way to store wine is (don't get me started on wine in the box). Taking away the cork from a bottle of wine is like taking the petals off a rose. Yeah, it's a rose, but where's the beauty? Where's the romance?

Let me take this a step further and say that this embodies something larger. Specifically, how the hunger for advancement crushes good elements of our society. Sure, MS Word auto-fixes your spelling errors and formats things for you, but hand-writing a letter or a short story is art. It's the mass-production machine overshadowing the struggling artist.

Don't get me wrong, I love computers. I make a living off them, but there's a balance to achieve. Next time I open a bottle of wine, I don't want to hear the crack of metal separating. I want the beautiful pop of a cylindrical cork emerging from its glass embrace. That or an inanimate carbon rod. Either one.

INT. GOTHAM BUILDING TAVERN - MORNING

SCOTT sits at the table with his wife and son as the waitress arrives with the coffee they desperately needed.

He grabs his mug and takes a sip while, at the same time, trying to occupy his son's attention so that everyone in the room can enjoy their breakfasts.

After the coffee hits his lips, he does a double-take at his cup and stops the waitress.



As this little playlet illustrates, I had a coffee revelation not too long ago. Needless to say, when I saw we were running out of our current coffee, Logan and I jaunted on over to Stumptown and grabbed a pound of Hairbender coffee beans. We haven't opened it yet. I think we'll wait until Travis gets here on Sunday. Note to Travis: Hurry up.

Thank you. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

My morning coffee at the place I stayed in San Francisco, The Phoenix Hotel. It was in the Tenderloin, but it was very cool. Heated pool, recorded bird sounds playing, and Yellowcard was staying there during my trip. If it's good enough for the 'Card, then it's good enough for me.

Every trip to any store with a toy section is not complete without a jaunt down the "Star Wars" aisle. And, since I'm a father of a 2 year-old, it's not just pathetic anymore. I'm just being a nice dad. At least, that's how I rationalize it.

While perusing toys for Logan's second birthday, we stumbled upon something so pointless, and yet so very cool, that we had to get it for him/us.

Darth Vader's Imperial Chopper.

I must have missed that part of the Special Editions. It was probably somewhere between the Greedo shooting first and the Han walking over Jabba's tail scenes. Regardless, the toy doesn't actually do a whole lot. It kinda revs a bit when pushed but doesn't go very far.

Does it even matter? It has TIE fighter wing saddlebags!

We've been watching "Babylon 5" lately. Wendy has seen it before, but it's the first time through for me. I have teased others about liking this sci-fi space opera in the past, but I have to admit that I'm in the middle of season 3 and I'm completely hooked. It's good stuff.

Now I have a choice. Do I tell others (not-as-sci-fi-loving friends) that I'm really enjoying the series or do I keep this extremely geeky love to myself (and other B5 fans). Yes, fans of "Babylon 5" refer to it as B5. Don't you judge me!

This internal Q&A with myself got me remembering about the Geek Card. Basically, it's an imaginary card that all geeks carry with them at all times. Every time something geeky slips out of his/her mouth, a check mark goes onto the card. You know it goes on the card because everybody else in the room makes a check mark hand motion (with sound effects). Here's a list of things that will get a check mark every time:

- Use of the phrase "reverse engineer"
- Use of the phrase "Kobayashi Maru" in a conversation that has nothing to do with "Star Trek"
- Any quote from a sci-fi movie in conversation. Bigger check marks for the more obscure the quote is.
- Use of the word "otaku"
- Knowing the garbage compactor number from "Star Wars"
- Knowing there is a number for the garbage compactor in "Star Wars"
- Knowing the name of the TV spin-off of to "Battlestar Galactica"
- Knowing there was a spin-off to "Battlestar Galactica"

The list goes on and on. There are many different kinds of geeks, but they all have a geek card on them (whether they know it or not). In any case, if I do choose to tell people I have been thoroughly enjoying B5, I fully expect this confession to be quickly followed by a big ol' "CHU-CHECK!"

My lovely and thoughtful wife outdid herself again last Christmas. She found the coolest t-shirt website known in this mortal coil. Found Item Clothing specializes in re-creating shirts seen in movies and television.

She got me the I [heart] Toxic Waste shirt from the brilliant, and underappreciated, movie "Real Genius." She also got me the caduceus shirt Cameron wears in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

The best part is the MST3K factor of wearing the shirt. It's a very obscure reference that most people won't get, but the ones that do will appreciate it that much more.

What show is currently pushing the boundaries of foul language on television? Allow me to answer the question that I just posed to myself.

The re-imagined "Battlestar Galactica."

Sure, show like "South Park" are currently keeping our censors employed, but this isn't just yelling obscenities and seeing what one can get away with. This is much more subversive.

My reasoning is simple. Frak. A four-letter work beginning with an "F" and ending with a "K." It's a monosyllabic substitute for our favorite bad word -- the f-word. Both mean a myriad of things and can be used as nouns, verbs, adjectives, and more. It's the same frakin' word.

It really shows how entrenched society's view on bad words is. Common sense would dictate that this is really just saying the f-word on TV (same meaning/same hard sound/very similar sounding), but just because it is spelled in a slightly different manner they can say frak to their hearts' content.

Now I'm not calling for a banning of the word "frak." Far from it. It think this a great social experiment. Next time you get upset forcefully say, "Frak this!" and see what reaction people give you. Maybe nothing. Maybe a quizzical look. It's almost like swearing in a foreign language. The reaction you won't get is that sharp intake of breath with the cautious look around to see if anyone else heard.

And if you do get that reaction -- frak them! You're not doing anything wrong. At least that's what the TV censors tell us.